1
00:00:03,029 --> 00:00:06,863
<i>Right. Here goes. Nathan, my dad, tried to fix his marriage.</i>

2
00:00:06,909 --> 00:00:09,901
<i>That led to a nasty sex-and-summer-pudding incident.</i>

3
00:00:11,149 --> 00:00:14,141
Oh, my God!
Something... Something cracked!

4
00:00:14,189 --> 00:00:16,783
<i>Stella went to casualty with a broken rib.</i>

5
00:00:16,829 --> 00:00:19,502
<i>Now she's back home making Nathan pay for it.</i>

6
00:00:19,549 --> 00:00:21,540
Nathan!

7
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:26,902
<i>And me? Well, paranoid Tom with the two gay dads is still stalking me like a weirdo.</i>

8
00:00:26,949 --> 00:00:28,826
I'm walking the dog.

9
00:00:28,869 --> 00:00:33,704
<i>But what do I care? I'm not obsessed with Sugar any more.</i>

10
00:00:33,749 --> 00:00:36,183
<i>That must be a good thing.</i>

11
00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:26,661
<i>OK. So at last things were looking up.</i>

12
00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:29,746
<i>Sugar was out of my life. Stella was back from hospital.</i>

13
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:34,180
<i>I was a 15-year-old with no spots and a passable pair of tits.</i>

14
00:01:34,229 --> 00:01:37,027
- Nathan?
- Oh, shut up!

15
00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:38,219
<i>Life was back to normal.</i>

16
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:39,293
Nathan?

17
00:01:39,429 --> 00:01:41,147
Coming.

18
00:01:42,749 --> 00:01:45,547
Oh, Nathan, I can't reach...

19
00:01:45,589 --> 00:01:48,740
I'm not sure that you should,
not with your tablets.

20
00:01:48,789 --> 00:01:52,179
- I need them to numb the pain.
- Want me to call the doctor?

21
00:01:52,229 --> 00:01:54,584
I was talking allegorically, Nathan.

22
00:01:54,629 --> 00:01:59,020
I don't mean the pain in my rib which is, by the way, still excruciating.

23
00:01:59,069 --> 00:02:03,028
I meant the pain of this, of you, of boredom.

24
00:02:03,069 --> 00:02:05,867
Of being married to Kathy Bates.

25
00:02:07,829 --> 00:02:09,740
Pillow.

26
00:02:09,789 --> 00:02:12,542
I'll do it. God knows what else you'll break.

27
00:02:15,349 --> 00:02:18,625
Well, what are you gonna do now? Magic tricks?

28
00:02:20,829 --> 00:02:22,547
Yeah...

29
00:02:25,589 --> 00:02:27,261
Nathan!

30
00:02:34,549 --> 00:02:36,699
- Fuck.
- Sorry. Sorry.

31
00:02:38,269 --> 00:02:41,147
- Dad!
- Can we speak?

32
00:02:41,189 --> 00:02:43,578
- I'm busy.
- I need you to watch your brother.

33
00:02:43,629 --> 00:02:47,986
- Can't Stella do it? I'm going out.
- Yeah, well... so am I.

34
00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:53,819
Dad?

35
00:02:54,629 --> 00:02:56,699
I can't go on like this, Kim.

36
00:02:58,029 --> 00:03:01,021
Just pretending that everything is OK.
I've had enough.

37
00:03:02,109 --> 00:03:05,021
I'm sorry. I really am sorry.

38
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:12,178
I'll see you soon.

39
00:03:17,549 --> 00:03:18,777
Nathan...

40
00:03:21,349 --> 00:03:22,543
Dad?

41
00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:05,906
Hi. You all right?

42
00:04:08,149 --> 00:04:09,946
- Fine.
- It's Kim, isn't it?

43
00:04:12,109 --> 00:04:15,260
Beth. We met last week.

44
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:18,142
At the Christian thing.

45
00:04:23,269 --> 00:04:24,941
Yeah.

46
00:04:25,949 --> 00:04:28,417
I saw you come in. You looked pretty upset.

47
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,187
I'm fine.

48
00:04:31,869 --> 00:04:35,657
- Do you mind if I sit down?
- No.

49
00:04:46,669 --> 00:04:49,627
- I'm really sorry.
- It's fine.

50
00:04:55,389 --> 00:04:58,347
- Nathan's left us.
- Nathan?

51
00:04:58,389 --> 00:05:02,348
Yeah, my dad. It's my mum's fault. Fucking cow.

52
00:05:05,229 --> 00:05:08,858
- Ever since she left hospital.
- Hospital?

53
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,867
An accident with a summer pudding.

54
00:05:11,909 --> 00:05:15,185
Oh, my God! Something cracked!

55
00:05:16,869 --> 00:05:21,465
It's OK. She deserved it. She's been making his life hell since the day they met.

56
00:05:21,509 --> 00:05:24,785
For Christ's sake. You can't pretend this isn't happening.

57
00:05:24,829 --> 00:05:29,857
- Aren't you jumping the gun just a bit?
- The evidence is crawling all over me. Crabs.

58
00:05:29,909 --> 00:05:32,821
- You don't know that.
- Oh, for fuck's sake...

59
00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:36,782
So. My mum's a whore
and my brother's a freak.

60
00:05:36,829 --> 00:05:41,027
My dad's a wet. Not that I've got much of a leg to stand on.

61
00:05:41,069 --> 00:05:45,904
I'm a homophobic gay virgin desperate to fuck a girl who will never fancy me.

62
00:05:47,149 --> 00:05:51,062
- What's she called?
- Sugar.

63
00:05:51,109 --> 00:05:53,498
Maria Sweet.

64
00:05:53,549 --> 00:05:57,258
She's a total goddess. And a total bitch.

65
00:05:57,309 --> 00:05:59,504
Right.

66
00:06:01,469 --> 00:06:03,585
I can't believe I'm telling you all this.

67
00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:06,985
- Ciggie?
- I didn't think Christians did that.

68
00:06:07,029 --> 00:06:09,497
They're menthol.

69
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:26,907
Have you ever spent time with someone, like intimate time,

70
00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:32,307
with someone who doesn't really know who you are or how you really feel?

71
00:06:32,349 --> 00:06:34,385
Torture.

72
00:06:34,429 --> 00:06:37,148
I tried everything.

73
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:40,659
Honesty, date rape.

74
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:44,987
Oh, it's OK. I failed. I just nearly killed my brother in the process.

75
00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:48,578
I tried to shag a bloke, only my mum beat me to it.

76
00:06:48,629 --> 00:06:54,261
- Your mother?
- Found them at it doggy style on the kitchen table.

77
00:06:54,309 --> 00:06:58,746
- Then I tried to cure myself.
- Bible classes?

78
00:06:59,309 --> 00:07:01,903
Actually, I'm not that big on the Christian thing.

79
00:07:01,949 --> 00:07:07,148
Unless you count getting off with my RE teacher, Sister Angela.

80
00:07:08,869 --> 00:07:11,667
I just went along to the group to see who I could pull.

81
00:07:23,349 --> 00:07:25,544
- Coffee?
- Yeah.

82
00:07:26,069 --> 00:07:27,707
Excuse me.

83
00:07:30,589 --> 00:07:32,102
Jesus.

84
00:07:32,149 --> 00:07:35,027
We could always go somewhere else.

85
00:07:44,349 --> 00:07:49,218
<i>Just because the last time I'd seen Beth was at a church group, I'd assumed she was uptight.</i>

86
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:52,864
<i>- Amazing how wrong you can get people.
- Kim!</i>

87
00:07:54,669 --> 00:07:56,864
- Oh, God...
- Who is it?

88
00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:59,582
My next door neighbour. Just wait here a minute.

89
00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:02,382
Hi. Oh, thank God.

90
00:08:02,429 --> 00:08:05,421
<i>Just because the last place I saw Tom was...</i>

91
00:08:09,229 --> 00:08:12,904
<i>... in his bedroom, he seemed to think he had some kind of claim on me now.</i>

92
00:08:12,949 --> 00:08:14,746
I left you a thousand messages.

93
00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:18,219
- What are you doing?
- Holding your hand.

94
00:08:18,269 --> 00:08:20,863
- Don't.
- Why not?

95
00:08:20,909 --> 00:08:23,662
There's no point
in being shy about things now.

96
00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:28,385
That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. You were... You were fantastic.

97
00:08:28,429 --> 00:08:31,546
- I can't get it out of my mind.
- Tom!

98
00:08:33,549 --> 00:08:36,507
<i>OK, so maybe I'd been giving out mixed messages.</i>

99
00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,823
I wanna see you tonight.

100
00:08:39,414 --> 00:08:40,688
<i>But I wasn't going to now.</i>

101
00:08:41,109 --> 00:08:43,179
- Tom.
- Yes.

102
00:08:44,789 --> 00:08:46,939
I'm gay.

103
00:08:49,909 --> 00:08:50,898
Hm?

104
00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:57,663
- You're gay?
- Yeah.

105
00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:01,106
I'm sorry.

106
00:09:01,281 --> 00:09:02,624
<i>Which was a lie,</i>

107
00:09:02,749 --> 00:09:05,866
<i>because for the first time, I wasn't sorry.</i>

108
00:09:05,909 --> 00:09:08,377
You're quite sure about that?

109
00:09:14,493 --> 00:09:17,176
I'm in 100 percent certain.

110
00:09:18,269 --> 00:09:20,829
<i>For the first time, I was out.</i>

111
00:09:21,869 --> 00:09:23,700
<i>And proud.</i>

112
00:09:31,189 --> 00:09:35,660
<i>Sometimes it takes an outsider to help you gain a sense of perspective on life.</i>

113
00:09:38,509 --> 00:09:42,058
They're out of raspberry. I got you hundreds and thousands instead.

114
00:09:42,109 --> 00:09:45,067
It's good to branch out occasionally.

115
00:09:49,629 --> 00:09:53,861
For the record, she's not worth it. Treacle, Candyfloss or whatever her name is.

116
00:09:53,909 --> 00:09:56,503
- Sugar.
- Short-term fix.

117
00:09:56,549 --> 00:09:59,143
Sends your heart rocketing and rots your teeth.

118
00:10:01,229 --> 00:10:04,426
You're melting. Lick.

119
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:16,504
I can't believe in three months you've only met one girl you like.

120
00:10:18,509 --> 00:10:20,943
- I haven't really met anybody.
- It's Brighton.

121
00:10:20,989 --> 00:10:25,585
The place is crawling with candidates. Got
to make the most of what it's famous for.

122
00:10:29,309 --> 00:10:32,062
Bet you haven't even been for a swim yet.

123
00:10:37,869 --> 00:10:40,178
- You're joking.
- Race ya.

124
00:10:40,229 --> 00:10:42,584
- No way.
- Come on.

125
00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:55,229
Come on in, Sister, and wash away your...

126
00:10:55,269 --> 00:10:59,148
- It's freezing.
- Forgive me, Father...

127
00:11:14,589 --> 00:11:16,386
Save me.

128
00:11:20,709 --> 00:11:22,620
Save me.

129
00:12:29,269 --> 00:12:31,578
Are you not coming down for tea?

130
00:12:31,629 --> 00:12:32,948
What's up?

131
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,420
Hey, hey.

132
00:12:39,989 --> 00:12:43,664
You OK? Are they still calling you names?

133
00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:46,587
I can't bear you suffering because of us.

134
00:12:46,629 --> 00:12:49,302
No, no, Dad. It's not that. I don't...

135
00:12:51,069 --> 00:12:53,537
I don't care about the names.

136
00:12:55,469 --> 00:12:57,585
I slept with Kim.

137
00:12:58,509 --> 00:13:01,706
- Right.
- And...

138
00:13:03,869 --> 00:13:07,100
She... She's now got a girlfriend.

139
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:15,058
- Right.
- I thought I really... liked...

140
00:13:17,069 --> 00:13:18,297
Loved her.

141
00:13:21,109 --> 00:13:25,261
- Where are all the nice straight people?
- Come here.

142
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:32,303
Do you know how proud we are of you?

143
00:13:32,349 --> 00:13:35,341
- Oh, Dad...
- Listen to your father.

144
00:13:36,589 --> 00:13:41,743
You're the bravest, fairest,
most open-minded,

145
00:13:41,789 --> 00:13:46,180
thoughtful person that we know.

146
00:13:46,829 --> 00:13:51,949
The problem's not that there aren't plenty of
straight girls waiting for you to pick them up.

147
00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:55,220
The problem is finding one good enough.

148
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:58,579
- Mmm...
- And in the meantime,

149
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:01,302
I wouldn't worry
about having slept with a lesbian.

150
00:14:01,349 --> 00:14:05,501
Most straight guys would consider that
something of an achievement.

151
00:14:06,349 --> 00:14:10,388
Most straight guys would be... pretty proud.

152
00:14:13,869 --> 00:14:16,224
I love you.

153
00:14:24,189 --> 00:14:26,908
My first relationship
with a woman was a mess.

154
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:30,544
Bit of a livewire, you know?
Met her up at the university campus.

155
00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:33,057
Older woman. Well, two years older.

156
00:14:33,109 --> 00:14:37,022
Totally gorgeous but mad as a brush.

157
00:14:38,269 --> 00:14:42,626
Didn't know where I was with her.
Mucked up school for me and everything.

158
00:14:42,669 --> 00:14:45,229
It was like my life just stopped.

159
00:14:45,269 --> 00:14:48,147
And you know what? I didn't care.

160
00:14:48,189 --> 00:14:52,979
It's not right, though. Liking someone
who makes you feel miserable.

161
00:14:53,029 --> 00:14:57,705
Absolutely not. But I guess
that's why we met where we met.

162
00:14:58,989 --> 00:15:01,662
<i>I was just up for anything
that would take my mind off her.</i>

163
00:15:01,709 --> 00:15:04,223
Yeah, me too.

164
00:15:04,269 --> 00:15:08,865
Especially after my mum
caught us in bed together. Yes.

165
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,345
Easily the most mortifying moment
of my life to date.

166
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:15,506
- Did she got mental?
- Well, we didn't speak for a while.

167
00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:20,464
Then I thought, "Fuck, what's the worst that can
happen?" So we chatted and we both cried.

168
00:15:21,029 --> 00:15:24,658
Then I got the usual shit.
"What about the grandchildren?"

169
00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:30,784
Things calmed down, and that Christmas
I got a turkey baster in my stocking.

170
00:15:32,509 --> 00:15:34,261
How are your parents about things?

171
00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:38,745
Oh, to be honest,
they've got their own preoccupations.

172
00:15:38,789 --> 00:15:42,304
- I don't think they take much notice of me.
- I'm sorry.

173
00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:44,943
No, it suits me fine.

174
00:15:45,949 --> 00:15:49,100
This is really good, you know?
Talking about stuff.

175
00:15:49,669 --> 00:15:51,660
Something I never do with Sugar.

176
00:15:54,549 --> 00:15:58,906
I mean, why can't I meet someone
I get on with and like... likes me?

177
00:15:58,949 --> 00:16:02,225
Meet someone
and just feel easy with them?

178
00:16:17,069 --> 00:16:20,266
If your mum's so uninterested in you,
why did she come back?

179
00:16:20,309 --> 00:16:24,348
She got bored of Dale. She wanted a roof over her
head. Dale would have chucked her out.

180
00:16:24,389 --> 00:16:28,302
Are you sure about that?
Purely selfish reasons?

181
00:16:29,349 --> 00:16:33,581
Look. I think you should talk to Stella.
Tell her to sort it out.

182
00:16:33,629 --> 00:16:36,189
What's the worst that could happen?

183
00:16:50,629 --> 00:16:54,019
<i>There are some conversations
you've been waiting for all your life.</i>

184
00:17:01,749 --> 00:17:04,058
- Stella?
- Mmm?

185
00:17:05,549 --> 00:17:09,542
If it's dinner, get a Chinese.
I don't feel up to cooking yet.

186
00:17:16,509 --> 00:17:21,629
Kim? My head's killing me.
If you've got something to say, spit it out.

187
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:27,098
Oh. You all right?

188
00:17:27,949 --> 00:17:29,940
No. Not really.

189
00:17:33,149 --> 00:17:35,663
I want you to talk to Dad.

190
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:39,782
- That's difficult. I don't know where he is.
- You have his mobile.

191
00:17:41,149 --> 00:17:44,425
- He walked out.
- And you shagged around.

192
00:17:47,509 --> 00:17:51,741
Sorry. I promised myself
I wouldn't shout and I'd be grown-up.

193
00:17:53,829 --> 00:17:57,708
- This isn't gonna work.
- Sorry?

194
00:17:58,389 --> 00:18:01,426
This. Us. The way we are.

195
00:18:01,469 --> 00:18:04,222
It's not fair on me.

196
00:18:06,029 --> 00:18:08,463
And it's not fair on Matt.

197
00:18:09,749 --> 00:18:13,264
I know we've always been
a screwed-up family.

198
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:16,346
- But this is a fucking mess.
- Language.

199
00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,778
Shit! Fucking bollocks!

200
00:18:20,829 --> 00:18:22,945
Just look at you.

201
00:18:23,749 --> 00:18:26,263
You're crap.

202
00:18:28,389 --> 00:18:32,701
You... don't do maternal and you never have.

203
00:18:33,709 --> 00:18:35,347
Are you saying I'm a bad mother?

204
00:18:37,389 --> 00:18:39,380
You're Stella.

205
00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,264
And you've never wanted to be more than that.

206
00:18:47,469 --> 00:18:49,505
Oh, God.

207
00:18:56,429 --> 00:18:58,784
We still want you.

208
00:19:00,869 --> 00:19:03,019
But... with Dad.

209
00:19:13,149 --> 00:19:16,505
<i>For the first time in my life,
I felt like an adult.</i>

210
00:19:33,829 --> 00:19:35,342
See ya.

211
00:19:35,389 --> 00:19:39,621
<i>Stella had called Nathan
and he was coming round.</i>

212
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,386
She's in the lounge. Tidying.

213
00:19:46,429 --> 00:19:50,786
<i>I'd got my parents back together.
I was going out on a date.</i>

214
00:19:54,349 --> 00:19:56,146
<i>And literally out.</i>

215
00:19:58,829 --> 00:20:02,458
- So how did it go?
- Fine. I'll tell you later.

216
00:20:02,509 --> 00:20:04,022
OK.

217
00:20:08,189 --> 00:20:09,338
Hi.

218
00:20:11,789 --> 00:20:13,700
I had her.

219
00:20:13,749 --> 00:20:16,138
What? You're kidding?

220
00:20:16,189 --> 00:20:18,225
Mm-mm. And her girlfriend.

221
00:20:18,269 --> 00:20:21,147
Seriously.

222
00:20:24,909 --> 00:20:27,628
<i>Everything seemed to be
turning out all right.</i>

223
00:20:33,309 --> 00:20:36,221
- Drink?
- No, thanks.

224
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,021
No. Right.

225
00:20:41,469 --> 00:20:44,700
I've been talking to Kim.
Kim's been talking to me,

226
00:20:44,749 --> 00:20:49,664
and... she made me realise
that I owe you an apology.

227
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:54,979
No, listen. For being a terrible mother
and a terrible wife.

228
00:20:55,029 --> 00:20:58,908
- Stella, I...
- I just... I don't seem to be a natural

229
00:20:58,949 --> 00:21:02,498
at all the domestic, maternal stuff.

230
00:21:02,549 --> 00:21:06,383
And... if we're honest,

231
00:21:06,429 --> 00:21:11,867
we both know that it would be silly to
pretend that I'm suddenly gonna change.

232
00:21:11,909 --> 00:21:15,379
It's OK.
I've been doing a lot of thinking myself.

233
00:21:15,429 --> 00:21:18,102
Um...

234
00:21:18,149 --> 00:21:20,504
I don't want to go on like this.

235
00:21:22,789 --> 00:21:25,622
- No.
- It's not just your fault.

236
00:21:25,669 --> 00:21:28,058
It's mine too.

237
00:21:28,109 --> 00:21:31,579
I should have realised
that our marriage was failing long ago.

238
00:21:32,229 --> 00:21:36,188
Only the more
I tried to salvage the relationship,

239
00:21:36,229 --> 00:21:38,584
the worse things have got.

240
00:21:38,629 --> 00:21:43,862
And the more... pathetic I've become.

241
00:21:43,909 --> 00:21:46,343
- I mean, pitiful.
- Nathan.

242
00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:50,826
If I woke up next to this each morning,
I'd start screwing odd-job men for kicks.

243
00:21:50,869 --> 00:21:51,938
No.

244
00:21:51,989 --> 00:21:56,221
I've turned into someone
that I never wanted to be.

245
00:21:57,549 --> 00:21:58,868
I still love you.

246
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,423
I still love you too.

247
00:22:08,669 --> 00:22:10,944
But I don't wanna go on like this.

248
00:22:12,269 --> 00:22:13,907
I think it's right that you should leave.

249
00:22:32,789 --> 00:22:35,428
- Hello?
- Kiz.

250
00:22:36,429 --> 00:22:38,147
I need you.

251
00:22:41,389 --> 00:22:45,940
Kiz, can you hear me? I'm in deep shit.

252
00:22:48,349 --> 00:22:50,021
Please.

253
00:23:14,928 --> 00:23:19,922
Synchronization and corrections
Allenmcbeal

254
00:23:23,456 --> 00:23:26,423
Tracklist :
"A Girl Like You", Edwyn Collins
"Let Go", Frou Frou

255
00:23:26,424 --> 00:23:29,424
"Don’t Panic", Coldplay
"Hold You In My Arms", Ray Lamontagne

256
00:23:29,425 --> 00:23:32,425
"Lazy , Another Fine Day
"Sunny Road", Emiliana Torrini